positively negative

I have come to the realization that, although I tend to be an optimist, I am not a positive person.

Or rather, I am not as creative in being positive. I write my best poetry in my least favorite season - spring - and usually around themes of suffering or sorrow or anger. My most effective blog posts are composed while in pain. I communicate hurt better than healthiness. And my complaints are more humorous than my praises.

I am positively negative.

In other words, the things that are not-so-great about my life or life in general, can be turned into something helpful and emotive. I guess it's better than being a positive person with a negative influence.

I wonder why honesty about hurts and negativity touch us more than a rah-rah speech. Perhaps it's because someone else can recognize humanity and failings in the confessor. Perhaps it's because others can see themselves and not feel looked down upon. Or perhaps it's that we learn the lesson (whatever it may be) more readily through a message of positive negativity - peace in spite of pain, humor in spite of heartache and joy in spite of trials.

Creativity apparently comes from angst. Perhaps it's when I need to vent most. Or when I need the remedy of putting my struggles and frustrations out there - sort of a therapy session via writing. Or perhaps I'm just vain and like to see my own words.

I made that last part up - what vain person would want others to even see that they struggle or don't have it "all together?"

What I do have together I owe in large part to the words that come out when I don't. That's positively negative.