who your friends are

There's a country song about finding out who your real friends are in times when you really need them. Tracy Lawrence's voice is smooth, deep and comforting as he sings a truth that I have relearned the past couple days. (Parts of the lyrics are below).

FIND OUT WHO YOUR FRIENDS ARE
Run your car off the side of the road
Get stuck in a ditch way out in the middle of nowhere
Or get yourself in a bind lose the shirt off your back
Need a floor, need a couch, need a bus fare

This is where the rubber meets the road
This is where the cream is gonna rise
This is what you really didn't know
This is where the truth don't lie

You find out who your friends are
Somebody's gonna drop everything
Run out and crank up their car
Hit the gas, get there fast
Never stop to think 'what's in it for me?' or 'it's way too far'
They just show on up with their big old heart
You find out who your friends are
----
When the water's high
When the weather's not so fair
When the well runs dry
Who's gonna be there?

You find out who your friends are
Somebody's gonna drop everything
Run out and crank up their car
Hit the gas, get there fast
Never stop to think 'what's in it for me?' or 'it's way too far'
They just show on up with their big old heart
You find out who your friends are

It's interesting to see who responds. I've had some major surprises - friends and relatives whom I thought would offer words of comfort through email or phone calls haven't even so much as picked up the phone or made an Internet connection. Friends who I don't consider all that close have reached out, offered meals, to watch the kids, you name it. Some of it one can probably chalk to not being equipped to deal with pain, but most I think is just plain sad. There are those people whom it really would have meant a lot to hear from, those people who I expected to hear from (after all - they're family) and those people who really had no obligation to comfort me, but did anyway - and many did in a BIG way.

I don't expect anyone who hasn't been through a miscarriage to truly understand this, but it should be obvious to most anyone that this is still a tragedy and that I still need God with skin on - human beings who only need to offer a few words of encouragement or to say they're praying or sorry or just say something.