it's nice to have boys...

because they constantly say funny things like this:

"I do not like whitey tighties. That is a public announcement." (So, I felt free to share).

math problems

According to a six-year-old, if you add 1/4 and 1/4 and 1/4 and 1/4 you get a dollar. Pretty hard to argue with that logic. And believe me I tried.

boys say the funniest things...

Overhead in a dressing room:

"Let's try on your tux."

"I'm not going to the wedding."

"You have to - everyone else will be there."

"Fine, but i'm not gonna be the ring bearer."

"But you already told uncle kyle you would do it."

"Well, i'm not gonna carry a pillow!"

(Sidenote: Only a $5 bribe from Grandpa could get the little ringbearer down the aisle and he found out he was going to have to walk down with a girl. Then, after hearing laughter as he started down the aisle, we could only watch in horror as he walked the entire way with his face covered by the pillow. But, he got the job done. And he got five bucks.)

when will power doesn't work

About a month ago, I switched out the summer and winter clothes, only to be completely mortified by how little fit me - tops and bottoms. Even worse than tight capris was the bulge between my armpits if I wore something sleeveless.

It was not a pretty sight. I think I may have actually gagged a bit.

So, I decided to do something drastic - a diet. For almost four weeks now, in an attempt to lose seven pounds before my brother's wedding, I quit pop, snacks and eating between meals. I haven't kept track of my calorie intake, but I know that I'm insanely hungry come meal time and could probably devour about three Happy Meals. But, I haven't. In fact, I have almost completely eliminated any processed foods from my diet, fixing home-cooked meals for lunch and supper. My only slip-up is cold cereal in the morning. Mornings and I to do not get along.

All of this has resulted in a grand total of losing one pound. One pound!!!! I probably could lose that much with my morning visit to the john. I probably could have kept drinking my beloved Dr. Pepper, eating chocolate, sneaking black licorice and snarfing down frozen cookie dough and wouldn't have done any worse.

Deprivation apparently does not work for me - which is incredibly ironic, considering that I was so disciplined with this and I am not particularly proud of my will power, especially when it comes to things like reading the Good Book or not yelling at my kids.

I was hoping to avoid physical exercise in this process. Figured I could sort of semi-starve my way into losing the flab on my arms. Evidently, the hyper-metabolism of my youth has died a slow death. I have been known to consume an entire foot-long Subway sub in one sitting and still have room for the pop and chips that go along with the meal. Seconds on a home-cooked meal? Sure, why not! I'll burn it off tomorrow.

So, what does one do when will power doesn't work? Does that mean I now have to been disciplined enough to, gulp, exercise too? Or do I just start investing in shrugs and shawls and chalk it all up to almost turning forty...

cheapskate

Okay, I admit it - I'm cheap.

I can sugar coat it all I want by passing it off as frugality and stewardship, but really... I'm just cheap.

I hate to pay full price for anything, which is why I hit clearance racks and garage sales for 90 percent of my wardrobe. I seldom buy groceries unless they're on sale or at a price that I know is rock-bottom and less expensive than I can get anywhere else (like the $4.59 two-pound chunk of Colby Jack at Costco.) I adore Amazon because I can find books (and lots of other stuff) at steep discounts. In fact, the Internet is a big friend of mine when it comes to ordering things like faucets and light fixtures and even my beloved Smartwool socks.

But, what I really, really dislike is paying for haircuts.

Drives me crazy to spend $25 on a trim - sorry but the 30-second head rub that goes along with the hair wash just isn't that great. I never get the result I hoped for. I can never style it the same as the beautician. And I'd rather spend the money on yarn. If it wasn't for this nagging female issue of hating to look frumpy, I'd just grow it all out to my waist and wear a bun for the rest of my life.

For years, I have threatened to do the Sinead O'Connor thing and just shave it all off. I can't imagine the freedom in not having to worry about blow-drying, moussing, flat-ironing or hairspraying. The only thing that keeps me from doing it (other than a slight courage issue) is that people would inevitably think I had cancer. I wouldn't want to have unnecessary pity come my way or make a mockery of those who are bald not by choice.

It's still a tempting option though. And I would save a couple hundred bucks a year.

it's nice to have boys...

especially when they argue about stupid things.

‎"I invented peanut butter & jelly...and I invented cheese on chips."

"That's called nachos, bonehead."

"I don't care - I still invented it."

due date

Can I survive another missed due date? Technically - I'll still be breathing (probably) when May 5, 2010 ticks away, so I suppose the answer is yes.

I'm still not sure if that's a good thing.

Days like this are ones that make me long for a better place - one with no headaches, heartaches, whining, crying, pinching or biting. It's hard to appreciate the kids you can hold when they're irritating and when they think they're too big for hugs anymore. It's also hard to focus on them when you're distracted by the children you never got to hold.

Well, okay that's not exactly true either - because right now I have one begging to use glue to make a tent out of newspaper (yeah - that'll work). Two are arguing about who sucked up something in the vacuum cleaner and the other wants to glue his coloring book picture to the wall. So, perhaps it's the other way around - these four are distracting me from my grief.

I'm not sure if that's a good thing either.

I still haven't decided if I'm sad about not having a baby today or if I'm a bit grateful that I'm not lugging around an extra 15 pounds and I can sleep in. Pretty sure the sadness wins out because every time I see a baby, I wince. I should just get over this already. I've been dreading this day for weeks. It's probably why hubby keeps asking me why I'm so crabby, but I don't want to tell him because I don't want to lose it and I want him to just "know" what's wrong. Is that too much to ask? It would have been nice if God would have made spouses able to read each other's minds.

Wait - no. I'm sure that's not a good thing. I really don't want to know how much he thinks about a certain activity.

So, to make it through this due day so far I have:
1) slept in until 10 am
2) downed half a pot of coffee (I should have spiked it with something)
3) added 12 things to my to-do list and crossed nothing off
4) took a nap to try get rid of my headache
5) cursed at a tile project that never goes away
6) decided to make nothing but brown rice for supper and let hubby do the rest
7) cursed some more that I can't find my iPod so I can sing/warble to ABBA
8) tried to be grateful that my kids did all their chores this morning
9) said a few prayers for people who are having much more difficult times than I am
10) made plans to do nothing but sit and knit tonight.

I probably can and will survive - if my definition of surviving is just one step at a time and putting one more piece of slate up on the wall. If I could take a sauna some time today, I might actually make it.

That would be a good thing.

boys say the funniest things...

"When grandpa gets dead, can I have his kitties?"

I dare you to hear that and not laugh out loud.

100 grand worth of happiness

This makes me feel better about not being wealthy - at least in terms of finances.

A recent New York Times column says, essentially, wealth is NOT the key to happiness. Finally. I can wake up from that dream.

Instead, having good interpersonal relationships make humans happy. If I have close friends, I will be happier than if I have more money. The activities most associated with happiness are sex, socializing after work and having dinner with others. (I'll buy that for two out of three, but won't tell you which two.)

All of this seems to be common sense, but now it's being backed up by research. Apparently a couple of studies have found the following:
1. Joining a group that meets just once a month produces the same happiness gain as doubling your income.
2. Being married gives you a psychic gain equivalent to more than $100,000 a year.

Wait until I tell hubby that one. He's rich! I bet he never knew I was worth a cool 100 grand. Heck, I didn't even know that.

It makes me happy. And it makes me hungry for one of those little candy bars...

confidence

So, I'm upstairs working on our never-ending project and I couldn't get this hymn out of my head. I'm starting to think that God's going to communicate with me through music since I won't listen any other way. (How's that for a confession?)

I'm feeling blue and blah and... a little sorry for myself. And it's raining - even more depressing.

I should be happy for those around me who have good news to share. I should be praying for those around me who have shared uncertainties with their health and their professions. I should do something for the cousin who is facing the incredible burden of losing a nine-year-old son to cancer. Instead, I'm humming a hymn, lost in my own issues. I should...well I'm not really sure what I should...

Then, when I realized what the words of the hymn were I couldn't stop the tears from coming.

Confidence by F.A. Graves
Lord, clasp my falt'ring hands in Thine;
Too weak I am to walk alone;
My path, dear Lord, I would not choose,
But ever say, "Thy will be done."

Tempted at times to trust in self,
And in this self feel brave and strong;
Help, in my weakness, Thee to trust,
To do the right, and shun the wrong.

I'll trust in Thee each day and hour,
As thro' this sinful world I go;
I'll lean upon Thine arm of pow'r,
And then defeat I'll ne'er shall know.

If I in Thee shall fall asleep,
Or in the clouds shall see Thee come;
Then, where there'll be no cause to weep,
Greet me, my Savior, in that home.

I'd love to share the tune as well, in case you're not familiar with this not-so-well-known song. But, I can't find it anywhere online.

I wish I had the confidence to walk the path chosen for me - especially when I want to do nothing more than turn and run in the opposite direction. I wish I could focus more on others than on myself - especially when life could be so much worse. I wish I wasn't feeling so melancholy - especially when I'm so blessed.

Confidence is not an easy thing to possess.

it's nice to have boys...

because they discover cool things like this:

"Drinking pop sounds cool when you have ear plugs in."

Sadly, I don't know which one of them said this.

boys say the funniest things...

"You're goofy."

"No I'm not, I'm hilawious."

And even at four, he knows himself pretty well.