confidence

So, I'm upstairs working on our never-ending project and I couldn't get this hymn out of my head. I'm starting to think that God's going to communicate with me through music since I won't listen any other way. (How's that for a confession?)

I'm feeling blue and blah and... a little sorry for myself. And it's raining - even more depressing.

I should be happy for those around me who have good news to share. I should be praying for those around me who have shared uncertainties with their health and their professions. I should do something for the cousin who is facing the incredible burden of losing a nine-year-old son to cancer. Instead, I'm humming a hymn, lost in my own issues. I should...well I'm not really sure what I should...

Then, when I realized what the words of the hymn were I couldn't stop the tears from coming.

Confidence by F.A. Graves
Lord, clasp my falt'ring hands in Thine;
Too weak I am to walk alone;
My path, dear Lord, I would not choose,
But ever say, "Thy will be done."

Tempted at times to trust in self,
And in this self feel brave and strong;
Help, in my weakness, Thee to trust,
To do the right, and shun the wrong.

I'll trust in Thee each day and hour,
As thro' this sinful world I go;
I'll lean upon Thine arm of pow'r,
And then defeat I'll ne'er shall know.

If I in Thee shall fall asleep,
Or in the clouds shall see Thee come;
Then, where there'll be no cause to weep,
Greet me, my Savior, in that home.

I'd love to share the tune as well, in case you're not familiar with this not-so-well-known song. But, I can't find it anywhere online.

I wish I had the confidence to walk the path chosen for me - especially when I want to do nothing more than turn and run in the opposite direction. I wish I could focus more on others than on myself - especially when life could be so much worse. I wish I wasn't feeling so melancholy - especially when I'm so blessed.

Confidence is not an easy thing to possess.