sitting still

When a person is busy on a regular basis, with usually more than 12 things going on at the same time, it gets to be a way of life. You get used to the busy-ness and the hectic pace and getting a lot done. You get accustomed to accomplishments - even if they’re as big as finishing a DIY project or as small as showering.

Where it gets tricky is when you’re forced to take a break. Against your will. Against your schedule. And against your need to get something done. It is very difficult to just do nothing. Or at least a scaled-back version of what you’re used to. Not nothing, but not much either.

After a minor accident involving a utility knife, a piece of door trim and some debatable logistics on which direction one should be cutting with a utility knife, I am temporarily out of commision with my left hand.

And it’s driving me nuts. I am forced to type with nine fingers. (That just said “dingers” until I went back and corrected it.) I can’t cut or hold a piece of casing to finish trimming some closets. I can’t put socks on. I can’t even text - or at least not well because it’s difficult to hold the phone.

I feel a bit like one of my wiggly sons, who constantly tells me, “I just feel like I have to jump up and down.” Most days, when it comes time for schoolwork, he “claims” he has too much energy. I thought it was baloney, but now I get it.

Sitting still is just plain hard. Especially when THERE’S SO MUCH TO DO! I should be weeding the flower bed, painting trim, cleaning my bedroom, knitting, or purging the house of all the clutter. Instead, I’m twiddling my toes, soaking my finger to get out the infection and wondering why utility knives are so stupid anyway.

I also get to wondering why this happened to me - aside from the obvious lack of intelligence on my part. I don’t need a break. I don’t have time to take a break. Even if I say “gimme a break” I don’t mean it that way. I get flashes in my head of Psalm 37:7 : “Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him.” Right now I have little choice but to sit still and wait (as patiently as possible) for this cut to heal. If I don’t, I’ll probably rip it open and the healing and patience-learning will just take longer. I’m smart enough to not pray for patience, because, well, things like this happen. But I’m not smart enough to recognize I have no patience until I’m forced to sit still.

Seems pretty clear that sitting still is still a prerequisite of waiting patiently. Which of course means the only way to sit still is to sit still.

And that will take some getting used to.