you can't photoshop this

It's that time of year again - when I get my annual reality check that I am not skinny, my husband is not photogenic and Christmas cards are a pain in the you-know-what.

The annual family photo shoot was a complete flop. First, because the cool background I had chosen for the picture was not an option due to its close proximity to the building that houses hubby's clients. Well, it wasn't an option because hubby refused to let it be one. That of course resulted in two people who were really in the mood to smile for 100 pictures. I was one of them.

The second problem was the fact that it was 20 degrees outside and my kids are wimps. Even with long-johns and long-sleeved shirts they looked so pained in most of the pictures you'd have thought there was a wave of constipation going through. I suppose this could be blamed on Mom since she waited so long to set up the photo shoot date. But, knowing how much a battle it would be, procrastinating torture is very understandable.

The third problem is that my Mom was taking the pictures and I failed to tell her where to stand or that the camera lens could be adjusted so us handsome Larsons didn't look a mile away. Then again, that may have been intentional on her part. Once I saw the pictures on my desktop, we looked much better further away.

Sigh. Now I'm left with a battle in my head between my vanity, which wants to send out a picture that makes us look somewhat normal, and my desire to make people laugh, which wants to send out the most god-awful picture I can find and put a funny caption on it. And believe me, I have lots to choose from. (Did I mention it was windy that day? And my boys hadn't had their wrestling haircuts yet?)

I'm afraid I will have no options but to go the funny route - man those pictures are horrible! I've toyed around with "Making the rest of the world look good, one snapshot at a time." Or "We don't always look this good." Or even: "If everyone looks crabby on your Christmas card, you might be a Larson." I don't think my in-laws would appreciate that last one too much.

Now, I'm really just wasting time writing here when I should just make a decision, get the stupid photo card done and mail it off. Time to spread some holiday cheer.