setting an example?

As far as we know, hubby and I are supposed to be setting good examples to the four offspring hanging on our every word and watching our every move. And, unfortunately most of them have good hearing and all of them can see.

So when we screw up - they notice. They will gag and run away when Mom and Dad kiss in front of them (mission accomplished), but will stare fascinated at how we react when we stub a toe or pound a thumb with a hammer. And then they can repeat word-for-word what we said.

But, it’s worse than that. I think they’ve actually developed some sort of tag-team system to purposely drive us crazy. A typical game (one in which I’m a very unwilling participant) goes a little like this: Contender #1 will beg incessantly for a snack. When he’s accomplished frazzling his mother’s hair, he calls in the next competitor. This one will crank his iPod to obscene levels and beat box to TobyMac until either Mom is singing along to Christian rap or she yells at him to go somewhere else. He usually cannot hear above the “music” in his ears, which only gives him more points in this crazy game. After Mom has sufficiently expended enough energy with the yelling, he calmly tags out and the third opponent comes in. This one will not stop talking - no matter what. He can chatter about the dust under my desk and how he can make a guitar strap from his belt. Then he will rattle on about dirt bikes and baseball cards and the fact that he should really have a bandage on the miniscule cut on his palm.

Some days the third round goes to Mom, but only because she developed a pretty good talent for in-one-ear-and-out-the-other as a teenager (just ask her mother.) Other days, she will try to physically walk away and lock herself in the bathroom. But mostly, she has to resort to yelling again.

This only serves as a battle call to bring in the fourth challenger. He arrives with questions: “Can I get my bb gun out and shoot a bird?” “Can I play MouseTrap?” “Can I make frozen bananas on a stick?” The questions alone aren’t enough for him to win - he accomplishes that by asking all of this in spite of not having his chores done. Or by picking up one thing in the room when there are 27 left and making his mother check every time if he’s done.

It’s really a small miracle that she is still around to talk about all this.

We learned this past week at Wood Lake Bible Camp that we are to set an example in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity (straight from Scripture - 1 Timothy 4:12). Pretty convicting words because when I look at those examples, I fall flat on all of them.

My speech is not always positive or edifying. My life is usually a mess and busy and stressful. My love is sometimes conditional. My faith gets shaken. And I’m far from pure. Many days, I’m about as far from setting a good example as a mother could get.

My only hope is found in the verses that follow this passage which promise that if I am diligent people will see progress in me and there is salvation if I persevere.

But, it’s the persevering that has me worried. I’m not really sure how much more I have left in me to “keep on keeping on.” It’s a good thing these boys have two of us to take on - one of us can sit back and laugh at the whole insane game while the other engages in a competition that never ends.

There does appear to be some hope in sight, however. We just noticed that as they get closer to becoming teenagers, they also get quieter. Not sure if that’s due to hormones causing sullen attitudes and less communication or if it’s just the iPods jammed in their ears.

They are also starting to debate instead of duel. Twice now, hubby has had to backtrack on his discipline of taking snacks away because two boys have convinced him that he misread their actions and they didn’t deserve the punishment. Not sure if that will make for more discussions or more conniving to come up with good arguments, but it should make for less doors being slammed.

Either way, I’ll take it. Quiet is a hard commodity to come by in this house. And peace only comes when they’re sleeping.