learned behavior

We all know how much impact a mother can have on a child’s life, but more and more, I’m discovering how much kids pick up from their fathers as well. (Good and bad).

There’s a reason that children need good parents to look up to while they’re growing. It’s because they pick up everything–good habits and bad habits.

As I’m raising my own kids, with my husband’s help of course, I've noticed how many things I tend to do the same way that my parents did. Now, I have great parents and I think they did a wonderful job with me, especially considering the whole period between ages 14 and 16. I have no complaints in that department, well maybe they still could have let me out of the house a little more, but that’s another story.

Now, with Thing #1 I find I’m tough on the things that Mom and Dad were tough on us for. I don’t like sassiness, but I’m pretty lax about teeth brushing. I’m tough on eating whatever is in front of you. (He doesn’t like onions, which is a problem in our house), but am not so worried about whether his room is clean.

Hubby, on the other hand, can’t stand the mess and toys all over Thing #1’s floor, (which are there constantly), and I know he’ll be very good at teaching the kids not to waste money. He has certain things that irritate him and certain thing that he doesn’t worry about, much like me. I’m guessing it has a lot to do with the way he was raised and what values his parents taught him.

The strange thing is, many of those values aren’t taught directly. My parents never sat me down and said, “Don’t talk back to your mom.” Okay, I guess that was a bad example. They did do that one. I don’t think they really taught us patience or not to worry about things out of our control. My dad has always been pretty calm and doesn’t get riled up too easily. I’m more that way now than my husband, but he’s more sensitive about other people’s feelings than I am. I bet his parents taught him that by example more than by actually saying something.

It’s amazing what children learn simply by being around you and how those little minds are constantly picking things up. Sometimes that’s a good thing, other times, it can be quite embarrassing when a little one mimics one of your bad habits.

As cliché as it sounds, actions speak so much louder than words. Even the loud words.