lessons learned...

I’m going to be 29 next month. To many of you, that might seem like Mom should still be wiping my nose and behind. But, to me, I feel like an 18-year-old trapped in a bag of old bones – I get aches and pain in places I never thought about 10 years ago. My body no longer does exactly what I want it do, nor is it in the shape I’d like it to be in. Some of that can be blamed on pregnancy, but most of it is age and gravity.

The good thing is, in 29 years, I have learned a few things. I won’t claim to be as intelligent as I probably should be, but that’s mainly because I learn best by doing things the wrong way. Some of those things, I’ll share...

For example, I know:

• Switching salt and sugar on April Fool’s Day is only funny for the few seconds before your brother tries to beat you up.
• In a battle between a snow bank and a 1977 Jeep pickup truck, the snow bank will always win. And sometimes, it takes a tractor to beat a snow bank.
• It is much easier to get out of a speeding ticket if you are a female and you are young.
• It is much easier to get out of a speeding ticket if you don’t speed.
• Kids learn interesting phrases when they ride with Mom in traffic behind slow drivers.
• The cows’ watering hole isn’t a good place to go swimming.
• Calves are not meant to be rode like horses.
• Big dogs were not meant to be rode like horses.
• It’s generally not a good idea to dare your younger brother to pee on the sauna stove.
• Never wrestle a wrestler, even if he is your cousin and is five years younger than you.
• Baby snakes don’t make good pets, especially when they’re kept behind the couch.
• How dirty you can get is usually directly proportional to how much fun you’ll have, at least until Mom sees you.
• A child can find any mud puddle on the planet within five seconds and will then step in it.
• Rollerskating hide-n-seek in the basement in the dark is hazardous to your health.
• Even if you can, never try to outrun your mother to avoid punishment.
• If you’re going to make prank phone calls, don’t call your cousins. (Obviously this was in the days before Caller ID).
• A mother’s outfit is enhanced by baby spit-up on her shoulders - but don't point it out.
• If you’re late for church, you will hit every red light on the way there.
• Company always comes when the house is a mess.
• Best of all, Mom and Dad are usually right, and it doesn’t pay to argue anyway. Now if I can just get Mr. Three-Year-Old to understand that...

learned behavior

We all know how much impact a mother can have on a child’s life, but more and more, I’m discovering how much kids pick up from their fathers as well. (Good and bad).

There’s a reason that children need good parents to look up to while they’re growing. It’s because they pick up everything–good habits and bad habits.

As I’m raising my own kids, with my husband’s help of course, I've noticed how many things I tend to do the same way that my parents did. Now, I have great parents and I think they did a wonderful job with me, especially considering the whole period between ages 14 and 16. I have no complaints in that department, well maybe they still could have let me out of the house a little more, but that’s another story.

Now, with Thing #1 I find I’m tough on the things that Mom and Dad were tough on us for. I don’t like sassiness, but I’m pretty lax about teeth brushing. I’m tough on eating whatever is in front of you. (He doesn’t like onions, which is a problem in our house), but am not so worried about whether his room is clean.

Hubby, on the other hand, can’t stand the mess and toys all over Thing #1’s floor, (which are there constantly), and I know he’ll be very good at teaching the kids not to waste money. He has certain things that irritate him and certain thing that he doesn’t worry about, much like me. I’m guessing it has a lot to do with the way he was raised and what values his parents taught him.

The strange thing is, many of those values aren’t taught directly. My parents never sat me down and said, “Don’t talk back to your mom.” Okay, I guess that was a bad example. They did do that one. I don’t think they really taught us patience or not to worry about things out of our control. My dad has always been pretty calm and doesn’t get riled up too easily. I’m more that way now than my husband, but he’s more sensitive about other people’s feelings than I am. I bet his parents taught him that by example more than by actually saying something.

It’s amazing what children learn simply by being around you and how those little minds are constantly picking things up. Sometimes that’s a good thing, other times, it can be quite embarrassing when a little one mimics one of your bad habits.

As cliché as it sounds, actions speak so much louder than words. Even the loud words.