black-eyed beauty

This was yesterday.

I look so attractive as I sport these great facial colors that I thought I'd share my beauty with the world last night. Well, at least with sister-in-law and one of my friends in town.

Needless to say, the reaction wasn't quite one of awe at my gorgeousness, but rather awe that I was out in public. (I did brave the library, but the stares were more than I could take - although I have to give the librarian credit, she didn't even ask. Just checked my books out and handed me the slip.) I slunk out as quickly as possible, grateful for the cover of night.

Sister-in-law was not surprised to see two black eyes, but I do think they look more impressive in person, which of course is why I went to visit her. Had to show off a bit you know, and get some sympathy from at least one family member. (Not getting much at home - one boy asked me last night at the dinner table if my little clunk on the head knocked any sense into me. I did not find it humorous. Hubby did.)

My friend and her husband were also impressed, but probably more with my stupidity than my good looks. I tried to fake them out with a story about hubby, but they didn't buy it. Then I confessed the whole ordeal. My humility never ceases to amaze me.

I am however, not humble enough to take the family Christmas card pictures right now. Although sister-in-law thought I should. Of course it would be incredibly funny (which alone is a HUGE temptation for me) but I'd have to make it look like someone else did the beating up on me instead of myself. Hmmm. Might have to do some thinking about that one. I might be able to pull it off. You'll find out in about 46 days how humble I actually am. Or how much of an attention-hog I need to be. :) Or maybe both.

This is today.


I never realized that human skin had the capacity to turn into such beautiful colors. Who needs eye shadow when you can have such vivid purples, blues and yellows splashed across your face? And even better - they don't remain the same from day to day. Changeable makeup - what a concept. (And don't think I didn't notice how well the straps of my tank top coordinate with my eyes - I'm so stylish you know.) But, really it's probably still not worth the pain of swollen eyelids and the inability to wear glasses on your nose, unless they're pushed down to the tip, which then interferes with breathing. I'd rather be somewhat blind than congested.

What I can't believe is that all the action on my face has distracted everyone from a true change - I just had eight inches of hair lopped off. And hardly no one has noticed. That pains me so.

Actually, the pain in my head is worse today than ever - not sure why. Even though the swelling is down, my forehead is still incredibly tender. I can't even raise my eyebrows at the boys' antics or I'll keel over as pain shoots up my head. Good excuse to put a movie going and take a nap. (And yes, I've used that excuse for the past three days now. Don't knock it - it's working.)

Wonder how beautiful I'll look tomorrow.