hot water!

Once again, asking tons of questions has solved a problem. I called the manufacturer of our water heater because everyone else was convinced that was the problem. And, since the beast isn't that old, I really didn't want to have to replace it.

The guy (who was sweet as pie on the phone) ran me through some trouble shooting and when those all came back negative, he asked me one question that made all the difference: "Do you have all of your faucets installed?"

What?!? How would that matter? So, I said no, this was not a typical construction project where everything gets put in at the same time and the homeowners move in and everything is honky dorey. There are no faucets in the laundry room sink, the master bath showers and sinks (heck, there aren't even any sinks yet in either room) or in the powder room. The light bulbs went off and we discovered that for some strange reason, without a faucet on those water lines, we would get hot water for a few minutes and then the water would start cycling through the two shower lines downstairs, leaving us high and dry wet and cold upstairs.

Ack. Who woulda thunk? So, hubby promptly installed some shut-off valves on the water lines to those two showers and presto! hot water that stayed hot. Almost miraculous.

Ahhh. I should send that guy a thank you note or at the very least call his boss and tell him what a fantastic job he did. But, first it's my turn in the shower.

sweeten me up

I have a problem. And it's not an easy one to solve.

I don't like plain, black coffee. I wish I did. It would make my morning, afternoon and evening cup(s) of joe much easier to fix and consume.

I also like some flavor beyond just sugar (although that will do in a pinch.) I love creamer - French vanilla is still a favorite, but I will try just about anything except the caramel ones. I also love this time of year when Chocolate Mint Truffle or Peppermint Mocha is available. Last year, I stocked up on about six bottles of the stuff at the end of the holiday season so I could enjoy the flavors longer. (The shelf life on that stuff is insane. And a bit scary.)

What I don't love is that my favorite brands and flavors of coffee whitener are loaded with crap. And yes, I know I can buy cream, but it doesn't give me a vanilla flavor. And yes, I know I can buy vanilla syrup for my coffee, but - two problems - first, now I would be putting TWO things into my coffee (oh the WORK!) and second, it's high fructose corn syrup with a little fake vanilla flavoring.

Putting real vanilla extract doesn't work well either, because it leaves a bit of alcohol aftertaste. Yes, coffee is already bitter, but come on. I want it to taste right. I could steep a vanilla bean in cream, but by the time it would taste like anything, the cream would probably be spoiled.

So, I'm stuck. Land-O-Lakes used to make a vanilla-flavored heavy cream, but apparently I was the only consumer purchasing it, because it didn't stay on the shelves very long.

I recently got persuaded into trying Truvia in my coffee. All-natural, right? Well, okay stevia is a plant and it's natural. Sugar is natural too, but not when you extract only one part of it after it's gone through like 27 separate processing processes. All this so Cargill can put a patent on the combination, which they couldn't if they just mixed stevia and plain sugar. How hard could that be? But, ah, there would be no trademark and therefore no corner on the market and therefore no profits if someone chose to "copy" their idea.

Oh, and another thing - the Truvia was horrid. Couldn't even finish the cup. Don't know how that one got past taste tests in quality control.

So, all griping aside, I'm not sure if I have any other options. I guess I should just remind myself that there are worse things I could be consuming - I'm not spiking my coffee with anything other than the 35-calorie-per-tablespoon creamer. And I'm fixing it at home where it's still fairly inexpensive.

Sweeten me up with some sugar, partially hydrogenated soybean oil, sodium caseinate, dipotassium phosphate, disodium phoshate, mono- and diglycerides, cellulose gel, cellulose gum, coloring, salt, natural and artificial flavor, sucralose and carrageenan.

And honestly, I didn't know there was Sucralose in my creamer until just now!!

That's not news that can be sugar-coated with anything. I'm just devastated. Once again, I'm at the mercy of what's available to me as a consumer. It's maddening.

-------------------
*NOTE: It appears that only CoffeeMate's Italian Sweet Cream has Sucralose. The other four varieties in my fridge do not. Whew. I can still be my sweet old self.

artificiality

Thirteen years ago I discovered that artificial sweeteners like Nutrasweet give me headaches. Without fail, half an hour after consuming some tasty bite of yogurt, I'd get a weird throbbing in my temples and forehead. After I finally figured out the mystery, I have avoided Nutrasweet and its more recent successor, Splenda, as much as possible.

Once, at a church function, I think I may have I ticked off the person serving lemonade when I refused to take any after I learned it was Crystal Light. And I wouldn't let my kids have any either. She acted as if I had to be mentally ill to pass on the beverage and opt for water. (But, I guess I can see why she wouldn't understand, considering her Diet Coke addiction.)

It's not been too difficult until recently. I can buy yogurt with sugar as a sweetener. I can buy regular pop instead of diet. I don't have to buy sugarfree candy or Vitamin water or Gatorade - there are sugar or corn syrup-filled options for all of those products. (In no way, am I saying even those things are good for me.) But I can't find gum anymore that doesn't have Sucralose, Splenda, Aspartame or any other artificial sweetener in it. Even the good old Juicy Fruit or DoubleMint are contaminated. My only option is to chew Double Bubble or sugary Bubble Yum, etc., but the flavor in those lasts about 20 seconds.

I'm getting crabby about my lack of gum choices.

Give me back my sugar. Or my high-fructose corn syrup even. Not that I like to consume HFCS, but I'd rather have that than Nutrasweet or Splenda. And people consume this crap like it's no big deal. (If you're a diabetic, please don't take offense - I grant you a pass okay?) I don't want to ingest stuff that gives me a headache.

I swear we're letting food producers poison us. And I'm not sure what to do about it. I'm curious if it's the companies who produce artificial sweeteners lobbying to use their products in everything, including gum, or if the push is coming from the American Dental Association. (As if fluoride weren't bad enough...)

So, I'm curious if anyone out there has some non-artificially sweetened gum suggestions. I'm salivating already.

car conversations

"Mom, can we go to the Dead Sea?"

"Why do you want to go there?"

"Cuz you don't have to do anything and you can just float."

my christmas wish list...

I might get into trouble for airing dirty laundry, or rather dirty skin, but here goes...

All I want for Christmas this year is a hot shower.

I know it sounds ridiculous - so let me explain. For the past two weeks, we have been unable to take more than a 2.5 minute shower before the water turns tepid. Not nearly enough to time to shave anything, let alone try to clean up before some mysterious inner workings of the plumbing and/or hot water heater conspire to shut off the heat.

So, a hot shower is pretty high up my wish list. I’d even take it over yarn. Or even chocolate at this point.

We finally finished one bathroom in the “new” part of the house and a couple of weeks ago made the big switch - moving the water softener and heater so we could actually use the new facilities.

Only the water heater apparently did not like its new accommodations, because it suddenly decided to rebel. Perhaps it got tired of keeping up with a household of six - although that’s really no excuse considering four of the crew barely clean their teeth let alone their smelly bodies. Perhaps it’s in cahoots with the washing machine and decided to go on strike to protest the amount of daily laundry - except apparently the washer didn’t get that memo because still she’s working fine. Or maybe it simply conked out during the move down to the basement.

Whatever the reason - our spaceship-shaped water heater has decided to limit our daily shower intake. It teases us with glorious hot water for about 36 seconds and the gradually weans down to room temperature. No wonder the Bible frowns on lukewarm water - it’s ridiculous for showers as well.

For the past two weeks, hubby has been trying to solve this hot water heater puzzle. Only, he’s not really keen on mysteries and he’s not very patient anymore either. What he is, is cheap. (Whoops, did I say that?) I meant frugal. And capable. And adventurous. To try save $1500 on a new water heater and who-knows-what on a hourly plumber’s rate, he is sacrificing his body in cold showers and his mental health in trying to remedy the situation. What a guy. (There, is that enough kissing up?)

Rather than call in someone (who may or may not be able to solve the problem) he pulled out his handy-dandy multi-meter to test both heating elements (they work), he manually checked the temperature with my candy thermometer (scalding), he turned up the temperature (to hotter than scalding) and learned that a hot water heater has a dip tube. It appears that ours has not disintegrated, cracked or fallen off (like all the problem-solvers online suggest might have happened). And yet - WE STILL CAN’T TAKE A HOT SHOWER.

All of this leaves me in a bit of not-so-hot water (pun intended). I’m so tempted to call someone - no matter the cost - but I know I should tough it out, shivering in my short showers, while hubby troubleshoots with his father. A good wife would do that, I suppose. A new thermostat will be ordered tomorrow, because they now believe this is what’s causing the problem. Oh, me of little faith.

I really should take notes from my son, who upon learning about Christopher Columbus and what it meant to be an explorer, promptly informed me that his dad was definitely an explorer because he’s not afraid to try things he’s never done before and learn to fix things.

Ah yes, we’ve learned about a water heater and all its innards. I guess you could call that exploring. Not really the trip I would have chosen, but since hubby has been able to figure out many, many things in the past, I’m buckled in and along for the ride.

Hopefully this little expedition will be over by Christmas. If not, I’m pretty sure there will be a brand-new water heater under (or next to) the tree.

good quotes...

No one is more influential in your life than you, because no one talks to you more than you do.
–Paul Tripp

my apologies

Life is taking over around here. I can't believe I haven't posted anything since July!!! (The couple of newsletter columns below are the only thing that is forcing me to keep writing - so I shared them in the hopes that you will still love me).

I could say that nothing exciting or funny has happened around here, but well, that would be lying. And while I'm known to exaggerate a story for maximum editorial impact, I don't usually outright fib. Truth be told - I'm just too busy and uninspired to tap my fingers on a keyboard when I know there is history on Christopher Columbus to finish, trim to paint, and teeth to brush (my own).

The kids are still funny and crazy. The addition is still unfinished. And I am still a size 4. (Ha!)

As I sit here right now, trying to finish yet another newsletter column, hash over design ideas for Christmas cards and search online for yarn, my kids are rapping in the kitchen. The beat-boxing is almost in rhythm with my typing. Until someone gets mad because the others aren't singing the right lyrics...

Firstborns are very bossy - did you know that? It's a wonder my younger brothers speak to me anymore. But, that sounds like food for another column, another day when I'm not busy or crazy or sleep-deprived.

Thanks for hanging in there.