because they constantly say funny things like this:
"I do not like whitey tighties. That is a public announcement." (So, I felt free to share).
Friday, May 21, 2010
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
math problems
According to a six-year-old, if you add 1/4 and 1/4 and 1/4 and 1/4 you get a dollar. Pretty hard to argue with that logic. And believe me I tried.
Friday, May 14, 2010
boys say the funniest things...
Overhead in a dressing room:
"Let's try on your tux."
"I'm not going to the wedding."
"You have to - everyone else will be there."
"Fine, but i'm not gonna be the ring bearer."
"But you already told uncle kyle you would do it."
"Well, i'm not gonna carry a pillow!"
(Sidenote: Only a $5 bribe from Grandpa could get the little ringbearer down the aisle and he found out he was going to have to walk down with a girl. Then, after hearing laughter as he started down the aisle, we could only watch in horror as he walked the entire way with his face covered by the pillow. But, he got the job done. And he got five bucks.)
"Let's try on your tux."
"I'm not going to the wedding."
"You have to - everyone else will be there."
"Fine, but i'm not gonna be the ring bearer."
"But you already told uncle kyle you would do it."
"Well, i'm not gonna carry a pillow!"
(Sidenote: Only a $5 bribe from Grandpa could get the little ringbearer down the aisle and he found out he was going to have to walk down with a girl. Then, after hearing laughter as he started down the aisle, we could only watch in horror as he walked the entire way with his face covered by the pillow. But, he got the job done. And he got five bucks.)
Monday, May 10, 2010
when will power doesn't work
About a month ago, I switched out the summer and winter clothes, only to be completely mortified by how little fit me - tops and bottoms. Even worse than tight capris was the bulge between my armpits if I wore something sleeveless.
It was not a pretty sight. I think I may have actually gagged a bit.
So, I decided to do something drastic - a diet. For almost four weeks now, in an attempt to lose seven pounds before my brother's wedding, I quit pop, snacks and eating between meals. I haven't kept track of my calorie intake, but I know that I'm insanely hungry come meal time and could probably devour about three Happy Meals. But, I haven't. In fact, I have almost completely eliminated any processed foods from my diet, fixing home-cooked meals for lunch and supper. My only slip-up is cold cereal in the morning. Mornings and I to do not get along.
All of this has resulted in a grand total of losing one pound. One pound!!!! I probably could lose that much with my morning visit to the john. I probably could have kept drinking my beloved Dr. Pepper, eating chocolate, sneaking black licorice and snarfing down frozen cookie dough and wouldn't have done any worse.
Deprivation apparently does not work for me - which is incredibly ironic, considering that I was so disciplined with this and I am not particularly proud of my will power, especially when it comes to things like reading the Good Book or not yelling at my kids.
I was hoping to avoid physical exercise in this process. Figured I could sort of semi-starve my way into losing the flab on my arms. Evidently, the hyper-metabolism of my youth has died a slow death. I have been known to consume an entire foot-long Subway sub in one sitting and still have room for the pop and chips that go along with the meal. Seconds on a home-cooked meal? Sure, why not! I'll burn it off tomorrow.
So, what does one do when will power doesn't work? Does that mean I now have to been disciplined enough to, gulp, exercise too? Or do I just start investing in shrugs and shawls and chalk it all up to almost turning forty...
It was not a pretty sight. I think I may have actually gagged a bit.
So, I decided to do something drastic - a diet. For almost four weeks now, in an attempt to lose seven pounds before my brother's wedding, I quit pop, snacks and eating between meals. I haven't kept track of my calorie intake, but I know that I'm insanely hungry come meal time and could probably devour about three Happy Meals. But, I haven't. In fact, I have almost completely eliminated any processed foods from my diet, fixing home-cooked meals for lunch and supper. My only slip-up is cold cereal in the morning. Mornings and I to do not get along.
All of this has resulted in a grand total of losing one pound. One pound!!!! I probably could lose that much with my morning visit to the john. I probably could have kept drinking my beloved Dr. Pepper, eating chocolate, sneaking black licorice and snarfing down frozen cookie dough and wouldn't have done any worse.
Deprivation apparently does not work for me - which is incredibly ironic, considering that I was so disciplined with this and I am not particularly proud of my will power, especially when it comes to things like reading the Good Book or not yelling at my kids.
I was hoping to avoid physical exercise in this process. Figured I could sort of semi-starve my way into losing the flab on my arms. Evidently, the hyper-metabolism of my youth has died a slow death. I have been known to consume an entire foot-long Subway sub in one sitting and still have room for the pop and chips that go along with the meal. Seconds on a home-cooked meal? Sure, why not! I'll burn it off tomorrow.
So, what does one do when will power doesn't work? Does that mean I now have to been disciplined enough to, gulp, exercise too? Or do I just start investing in shrugs and shawls and chalk it all up to almost turning forty...
Saturday, May 8, 2010
cheapskate
Okay, I admit it - I'm cheap.
I can sugar coat it all I want by passing it off as frugality and stewardship, but really... I'm just cheap.
I hate to pay full price for anything, which is why I hit clearance racks and garage sales for 90 percent of my wardrobe. I seldom buy groceries unless they're on sale or at a price that I know is rock-bottom and less expensive than I can get anywhere else (like the $4.59 two-pound chunk of Colby Jack at Costco.) I adore Amazon because I can find books (and lots of other stuff) at steep discounts. In fact, the Internet is a big friend of mine when it comes to ordering things like faucets and light fixtures and even my beloved Smartwool socks.
But, what I really, really dislike is paying for haircuts.
Drives me crazy to spend $25 on a trim - sorry but the 30-second head rub that goes along with the hair wash just isn't that great. I never get the result I hoped for. I can never style it the same as the beautician. And I'd rather spend the money on yarn. If it wasn't for this nagging female issue of hating to look frumpy, I'd just grow it all out to my waist and wear a bun for the rest of my life.
For years, I have threatened to do the Sinead O'Connor thing and just shave it all off. I can't imagine the freedom in not having to worry about blow-drying, moussing, flat-ironing or hairspraying. The only thing that keeps me from doing it (other than a slight courage issue) is that people would inevitably think I had cancer. I wouldn't want to have unnecessary pity come my way or make a mockery of those who are bald not by choice.
It's still a tempting option though. And I would save a couple hundred bucks a year.
I can sugar coat it all I want by passing it off as frugality and stewardship, but really... I'm just cheap.
I hate to pay full price for anything, which is why I hit clearance racks and garage sales for 90 percent of my wardrobe. I seldom buy groceries unless they're on sale or at a price that I know is rock-bottom and less expensive than I can get anywhere else (like the $4.59 two-pound chunk of Colby Jack at Costco.) I adore Amazon because I can find books (and lots of other stuff) at steep discounts. In fact, the Internet is a big friend of mine when it comes to ordering things like faucets and light fixtures and even my beloved Smartwool socks.
But, what I really, really dislike is paying for haircuts.
Drives me crazy to spend $25 on a trim - sorry but the 30-second head rub that goes along with the hair wash just isn't that great. I never get the result I hoped for. I can never style it the same as the beautician. And I'd rather spend the money on yarn. If it wasn't for this nagging female issue of hating to look frumpy, I'd just grow it all out to my waist and wear a bun for the rest of my life.
For years, I have threatened to do the Sinead O'Connor thing and just shave it all off. I can't imagine the freedom in not having to worry about blow-drying, moussing, flat-ironing or hairspraying. The only thing that keeps me from doing it (other than a slight courage issue) is that people would inevitably think I had cancer. I wouldn't want to have unnecessary pity come my way or make a mockery of those who are bald not by choice.
It's still a tempting option though. And I would save a couple hundred bucks a year.
Friday, May 7, 2010
it's nice to have boys...
especially when they argue about stupid things.
"I invented peanut butter & jelly...and I invented cheese on chips."
"That's called nachos, bonehead."
"I don't care - I still invented it."
"I invented peanut butter & jelly...and I invented cheese on chips."
"That's called nachos, bonehead."
"I don't care - I still invented it."
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
due date
Can I survive another missed due date? Technically - I'll still be breathing (probably) when May 5, 2010 ticks away, so I suppose the answer is yes.
I'm still not sure if that's a good thing.
Days like this are ones that make me long for a better place - one with no headaches, heartaches, whining, crying, pinching or biting. It's hard to appreciate the kids you can hold when they're irritating and when they think they're too big for hugs anymore. It's also hard to focus on them when you're distracted by the children you never got to hold.
Well, okay that's not exactly true either - because right now I have one begging to use glue to make a tent out of newspaper (yeah - that'll work). Two are arguing about who sucked up something in the vacuum cleaner and the other wants to glue his coloring book picture to the wall. So, perhaps it's the other way around - these four are distracting me from my grief.
I'm not sure if that's a good thing either.
I still haven't decided if I'm sad about not having a baby today or if I'm a bit grateful that I'm not lugging around an extra 15 pounds and I can sleep in. Pretty sure the sadness wins out because every time I see a baby, I wince. I should just get over this already. I've been dreading this day for weeks. It's probably why hubby keeps asking me why I'm so crabby, but I don't want to tell him because I don't want to lose it and I want him to just "know" what's wrong. Is that too much to ask? It would have been nice if God would have made spouses able to read each other's minds.
Wait - no. I'm sure that's not a good thing. I really don't want to know how much he thinks about a certain activity.
So, to make it through this due day so far I have:
1) slept in until 10 am
2) downed half a pot of coffee (I should have spiked it with something)
3) added 12 things to my to-do list and crossed nothing off
4) took a nap to try get rid of my headache
5) cursed at a tile project that never goes away
6) decided to make nothing but brown rice for supper and let hubby do the rest
7) cursed some more that I can't find my iPod so I can sing/warble to ABBA
8) tried to be grateful that my kids did all their chores this morning
9) said a few prayers for people who are having much more difficult times than I am
10) made plans to do nothing but sit and knit tonight.
I probably can and will survive - if my definition of surviving is just one step at a time and putting one more piece of slate up on the wall. If I could take a sauna some time today, I might actually make it.
That would be a good thing.
I'm still not sure if that's a good thing.
Days like this are ones that make me long for a better place - one with no headaches, heartaches, whining, crying, pinching or biting. It's hard to appreciate the kids you can hold when they're irritating and when they think they're too big for hugs anymore. It's also hard to focus on them when you're distracted by the children you never got to hold.
Well, okay that's not exactly true either - because right now I have one begging to use glue to make a tent out of newspaper (yeah - that'll work). Two are arguing about who sucked up something in the vacuum cleaner and the other wants to glue his coloring book picture to the wall. So, perhaps it's the other way around - these four are distracting me from my grief.
I'm not sure if that's a good thing either.
I still haven't decided if I'm sad about not having a baby today or if I'm a bit grateful that I'm not lugging around an extra 15 pounds and I can sleep in. Pretty sure the sadness wins out because every time I see a baby, I wince. I should just get over this already. I've been dreading this day for weeks. It's probably why hubby keeps asking me why I'm so crabby, but I don't want to tell him because I don't want to lose it and I want him to just "know" what's wrong. Is that too much to ask? It would have been nice if God would have made spouses able to read each other's minds.
Wait - no. I'm sure that's not a good thing. I really don't want to know how much he thinks about a certain activity.
So, to make it through this due day so far I have:
1) slept in until 10 am
2) downed half a pot of coffee (I should have spiked it with something)
3) added 12 things to my to-do list and crossed nothing off
4) took a nap to try get rid of my headache
5) cursed at a tile project that never goes away
6) decided to make nothing but brown rice for supper and let hubby do the rest
7) cursed some more that I can't find my iPod so I can sing/warble to ABBA
8) tried to be grateful that my kids did all their chores this morning
9) said a few prayers for people who are having much more difficult times than I am
10) made plans to do nothing but sit and knit tonight.
I probably can and will survive - if my definition of surviving is just one step at a time and putting one more piece of slate up on the wall. If I could take a sauna some time today, I might actually make it.
That would be a good thing.
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