you little stinker

Whoever coined the phrase, “There’s one every family” knew what he/she was talking about. That being – one little monkey who has the ability to outshine all the others in their monkey-shining.

I’m speaking of the youngest of our four boys. You wouldn’t think that mischievousness would already be showing up at 14 months, but believe me it is. He’s still good-natured, but other than that, I’m not so sure he’s related to the other three.

He believes it is his job to throw his dirty diapers into the garbage all by himself (and pitches a fit if he doesn’t get the opportunity). He also doesn’t miss anything. He already recognizes the word “snack” and “chip” and it only took him half a day to figure out where his Easter candy bag was. I have found him climbing shelves in the pantry to grab a fistful of potato chips. He’s bitten into raw potatoes. He’s dumped out Malt-O-Meal into neat little piles on the kitchen floor. You’re probably thinking the poor chap’s hungry, but if you saw how much he eats, you’d know otherwise. I’ve caught him on top of the kitchen table, happy as a lark, and then trying to stand up and swing from the light fixture like a true monkey. I believe it is his favorite perch in the house. But, he will try to climb on top of anything, and then stand with his arms raised, as if he’s just conquered Everest. I wouldn’t be surprised to see him beat his chest in pride.

He’s made it up and fallen off a bunk bed ladder. Then scaled it again 10 minutes later. He loves light switches and thinks it’s just hilarious to turn them off and on, especially if someone (like one of his brothers) screams because they’re sitting in the dark.

He loves phones, remotes and dials. He likes to punch in the numbers because the phone beeps each time and he even once dialed 911. Luckily the phone didn’t get turned on, so that call never went through. However I have had a few long-distance calls that were unexplainable on the phone bill. The boys have been watching a DVD or a cartoon and he’ll come along and press a random button on the remote, sending them all flying off the couch, yelling his name. A month ago, I kept getting after the three older boys when I’d come downstairs to a sauna in the morning because the electric heaters were turned up. They usually sit around in the morning wrapped in blankets because they’re cold after eating breakfast, so I assumed they were trying warm up. Turns out it was the little guy all along. Oldest brother caught him in the act cranking a heater dial to high. He also won’t leave the dehumidifier dial alone either – it’s like the light switches to him – turn it one way, the motor kicks on; turn it the other, it shuts off. Great fun.

With the weather being so nice now, today I decided to air the house out a bit, leaving the storm door closed with the screen open. He managed to stand on his tiptoes, unlatch the door and escape to the outdoors in his fat little stocking feet.

He loves to be outside, even though he constantly falls on concrete and usually has multiple bruises, cuts and scrapes on his forehead at any one time. (So many, and so often, I have yet to take his one-year pictures because he’s not been able to stay bruise-free for more than 12 hours).

He has renamed countless files of mine on my computer desktop after he climbs onto my chair and bangs on the keyboard. I’ll come around later and find my hard drive is now mijeu48jmfiji3jjjj00000007 instead of Macintosh HD. He also likes the mouse because it lights up when you lift it.

Right now, I’m keeping him occupied by bribing him with M&Ms, although I think I might be getting outsmarted. I wonder if he isn’t pulling a chipmunk routine by storing them in his cheeks so he can keep getting more, which of course I’m giving him because I’m distracted.

Grandma and Grandpa took all four boys the other day and I think they were surprised with his busyness as well. All Grandpa could say was, “Boy is he active!” (Which I think is just a nice way of saying “I’m really tired after all that!”)

I’m not saying all of this to complain, although it is busy. And, I’ve long ago figured out not to question why God planned it this way (having four boys pretty much cured that). Instead, I’m grateful he appears to have an above-average aptitude, agility and appetite. Most of it, I’m thoroughly enjoying. It is very entertaining to watch this little kid figure things out so quickly. He’s so delightful when he proudly pats his belly or rubs raspberry jam into his head. (That’s usually about the time he’ll want a hug). And I usually comply – who could resist a pink-faced, toothy-grinning, fuzzy-headed, sweet little boy? Not me.

I’m trying to use his precociousness to my advantage - like having him fetch his own diapers when he needs changing, search for his pacifier when he’s cranky, climb upstairs when it’s bath time, throw trash into the garbage and go see Daddy when he smells.

He’s extremely proficient at mimicry and has already tried to sweep floors, wipe up spills and clean toothbrushes in the toilet.

Now if he could just figure out how to grow some hair.

finding my balance

I'm ready to retire. Well, retire to bed never to crawl out. Life has become crazy. Chaotic. Challenging. Even cantankerous. (And so have I.)

My calendar makes me cringe. My cell phone won’t stop calling my name. I'm drained. Distracted. Demanded. And I have no down-time.

Nothing on my plate is inherently bad. Women’s Bible study. Small group. Retreat meetings. Coop get-togethers. A building project. Rental showings. Oh, and did I mention home schooling? Try to add dentist appointments, chiropractor visits, swimming lessons and the fact that my oldest has needed shoes for about two months is very nearly tipping the scales out of my favor. And the kids are noticing.

“Mom, you never do anything fun with us anymore!” or “Mom you never have time for us!”

Ouch. Although, to be honest, in my head I responded, “Do you want breakfast and clean underwear every day?”

My calendar probably isn’t as crammed as most, but for me it's too much. Life is getting out of control even though I have tried to be very conscientious about keeping blank white space in those little boxes. So, acting on instinct as much as feeling led, I started emptying my schedule. It helped, a little. But, I couldn’t take laundry, cleaning toilets and trying to teach a five-year-old to read off the list.

I'm still sick and tired of being tired. But the only time I have peace and quiet was late, late at night. I’m a night owl, so staying up till midnight knitting is a real trade-off. Enjoyable yes, but not so much when your toddler awakes at 6 a.m. ready for the day. I can't function without a nap in the afternoon, which can only happen if the rest of the boys were quiet, which can only happen if they watched a movie.

I think they know every line in Cars by heart.

It wasn’t until I recently had a heart-to-heart with my cousin that I realized how far I’d let myself go. In all senses of the word - physically (both inside and out), mentally and spiritually. All I wanted to do was sleep. She helped me realized a couple of things:
1) I needed a break now and then for my own sanity.
2) I needed sleep.
3) I needed to take better care of myself.

If you came over to visit me on let’s say a Tuesday afternoon, you’d likely find me still in my pajamas. I probably ate cold cereal for breakfast and half an avocado for lunch. I likely forgot to brush my teeth. In fact, I probably haven’t showered for a couple days. (Yes, you can feel sorry for my husband now!)

My cousin told me to “get out of the house.” I was shocked to realize that the last time I’d been alone doing something just for me was eight months ago. So, I took her advice. First, I got myself some good supplements. Then I took a nap. Then, I started eating regular meals. Then I took another nap (just kidding). I’ve managed to set aside the knitting or that good book and go to bed at a decent hour. And, I’m planning a day to get out of the house, by myself. In the works will be some sort of regular exercise.

It’s slowly working. I’m no longer feeling like crawling into bed at 3 p.m. and I had a salad for lunch instead of potato chips. I kept the boys quiet with Play-doh so I could do a very short devotion and if all goes well I might even be able to still knit a bit tonight.

I know that finding balance will be a process and that I will fail. But, I also know that being aware of the need for balance will help me find a healthy medium. As will having someone hold me accountable. The good news is that it also enables me to say yes to the things I feel called to and no to the ones I don’t, without having to feel guilty either way. I’ve already been tested on that one, and am happy to report that I gulped and said yes to one request, no to another (while feeling peaceful about that decision) and signed my two older boys for TaeKwon Do.

For that exercise part, I probably should join them.